Strategic Re-engagement: Don’t Miss Your Opportunity of a Lifetime
This article explores the idea of taking a serious look at our values so we can step back from stepping back. We will look at how we can opportunistically re-strategize our life in order to find greater satisfaction and greater connections.
“Do you fall in my camp? Do you align with their camp? Can you believe so-and-so would act like that?”
Are you confused as to why you’re being labeled certain ways in this era based on your decision to mask or unmask, to vaccinate or to refrain?
The times we live in present us with so many opportunities to disengage with people, thought patterns, or organizations that behave differently than we do. Unfortunately this has led so many to be deeply lonely and disconnected, and for some that can lead to a dark place.
In this season, what if we took the opportunity to look introspectively at our life, our values, and our connections? What would it look like to commit our life to a set of principles that really resonated? In an era of disconnection and disassociation, how can we find deep satisfaction by leaning in, engaging in causes and growth areas that would add incredible value to our life, as well as healthfully letting go of connections that just don’t meet the mark any longer.
Sure, that sounds great, but how do we do that in a healthy way?
Personal Values
First, ask yourself about the personal values that guide you. What are the principles that you hold dearly, that serve as a compass in your life? Personal values might mean a defined morality, religious tenets, or even a few categorized words that can help you determine the right-sized value of something in your life.
I am a person who has an appreciation for some specific values: love, joy, peace, kindness and diversity. I am not always the perfect embodiment of those values, but I strive for them and want bring those values forward in my life. These will help me form a life that feels valuable and engaging.
Right-Sizing My Life
Let’s look at life like a warm apple pie. (Oh, that sounds tasty!) We have 100% of our life to live. We have the opportunity to eat it all, to hide it away, to share it- or we can let it go to waste.
Think of a 5-shelf bookshelf. Everyone, every idea, every cause- they go on the bookshelf. Even the people and ideas and thoughts you disagree with.
The middle shelf is easiest to access and most dear. It holds the things that you value, the ideas you cherish, the places you visit most. Let’s call the middle shelf the Sweet Spot.
The second and fourth shelves are things and places and ideas that you interact with but that don’t hit your values exactly. They still maintain real estate in your life, but would never replace items on the Sweet Spot, or middle shelf.
The first and fifth shelves are people, ideas, and values that compete with your personal values. We keep these things not because we value them, but because we keep tabs on all things and keep scanning the horizon for safety.
Sometimes we can let other people ruin our warm apple pie by being around us too much. People who have different (competing?) values are not to be deleted or removed from our life, but what if they were right-sized and not given too much of our 100%?
Let’s consider an example: Your Aunt Suzie’s family-gathering rhetoric about her beliefs and how everyone should be like her. Let’s right-size Aunt Suzie. Her values don’t really align with yours. She is of value because she’s family, but maybe she drives you a little batty. On what shelf should Aunt Suzie be placed? Maybe she should be placed on the second or fourth shelf.
Time to Adjust
Sometimes it’s time to adjust. Maybe when you were younger Aunt Suzie was incredibly important in your life. Did you know that it’s ok to right-size people in your life? Aunt Suzie doesn’t have to be a third shelf person forever. Your best friend from high school can be significant in your personal history and still be on the second and fourth shelf.
Addition By Subtraction
What we’ve done by right-sizing our life is making sure the things we value get the correct spot in your life. They don’t get unending access to too much warm apple pie.
The nice thing about right-sizing our life is that we just cleared out some space and made room for peace in our life.
Aunt Suzie went down a shelf, so now you have more space and time for things that bring your life more value.
People, ideas, and thoughts can be right-sized to be more valuable in your life! For example: Co-worker Joe seems like a really nice person with complementary values. Maybe it’s time to ask Co-worker Joe to go to the baseball game or come over for a barbecue.
COVID Reduction
Covid-19 has given us an opportunity to determine our values and right-size the things, ideas, and people that occupy space in our lives.
Some people talk about cancel culture. This is not that. The right-sizing concept gives you the ability to give more priority to things that underscore your personal values, and help you live out those values. This is about taking your life by the horns and being strategic about where you put your time.
A Life Engaged
Now that you have the tools and the vocabulary to reduce some of the noise in your life, find ways to reconnect! We humans are meant to connect meaningfully with others. What organizations or groups embody the values you hold so dear? Give those ideas, people or organizations a space on the third shelf. Seek out opportunities that help you live your life.
Maybe you find an employer that better fits your needs. Maybe you create the business that lives out its values. Maybe you look for a religious gathering that better aligns with the values you hold dear. Maybe you volunteer at an organization that echoes your heartbeat. Maybe you have room to explore new topics so you can right-size them in your life.
COVID has taken away a lot of connections from us. But maybe the biggest gift COVID could give us is to let us take a step back to reevaluate and right-size the people, places, and ideas that interact with us- and to dive in deeper to the things that bring us the greatest joy and alignment with our values.
